Pledge
by Neferit
Summary: They met before battle at Ostagar - she, scared Warden recruit, he, angry young man. They drew comfort from each other then, before they parted. And years later, they meet again.


**A/N:** So, there was this pretty prompt over at dragonage_kink meme over at LJ which just made me squeeeeee! like there was no tomorrow:

_Before the Battle of Ostagar, Carver had a run-in with a scared and angry Warden recruit. Several years later, Carver is a Warden. He ends up serving under the Warden-Commander, who turns out to be the raw recruit he met back at Ostagar._

I played with the prompt for a bit - and this is the result. Enjoy, and please, let me know your opinion! :)

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, just this little piece of fanfiction. Oh, and a cup of hot chocolate.

* * *

**Pledge**

Carver was annoyed.

Sometimes he felt as if he never was anything else, just the annoyed and annoying younger brother. He had two sisters, and both of them were apostate mages just like their father, leaving him and mother the only normal people in the whole family. At least now he got from the madhouse which had been their home. His eldest sister, Emily, meant well and he knew it - but it still hurt something in him when he remembered how father entrusted the care of their family to her.

He was the only man in the family now, so it should be his concern, not hers, damn it.

So, here he was now, walking around Ostagar, minding his own business while watching the happenings around him. There! King himself made his way out of the camp to greet someone - he didn't really see whom, but some of the Grey Wardens got out of their part of the camp and waited. Maybe the Warden Commander, what was his name, Duncan or something, came back.

Rolling his shoulders, he decided to get some rest. King Cailan planned the battle for tonight, he might as well fight well-rested.

The sun was already setting when he woke up, several soldiers already rousing those who decided to take a nap as well. There still was time before they were expected to report by their units, so he walked around the camp once more, listening to the priests chanting the Chant, giving blessings and praying with the faithful.

Suddenly, his ears caught sound of sobbing, hushed as it was. It was definitely a female, as Carver found out when he followed the sound to its source. Hidden behind some stones was a woman, a very pretty woman to that, even if her nose was running and her eyes were red and puffy from the crying.

"Who are you?" said the woman, glaring at him. Glaring he could take quite easily, it wasn't like he wasn't used to that after spending several years with three women in the house. "Carver Hawke, at your service," he responded lightly with a slight bow, making the woman's lips raise for the tiniest bit at the corners as he sat next to her. "I heard your voice, and decided to look at who's the damsel in distress, so I could swoop upon the source of her distress and save the day."

She sniffed miserably. "Thank you, kind ser," she said with a flourish, her speech obviously trained to flow like that even if she felt terrible, "but I'm afraid that not even your good intentions can revive my family."

Oh, now he felt like a heel, when he noticed new tears in her eyes. Awkwardly, he reached into his pocket and pulled his handkerchief out, offering it to her. It was quite embarrassing to realize that the kerchief had been just _filthy_, all bloody and sweaty, as he used it to clean his face before.

Still, the woman accepted that disgrace of a handkerchief, wiping her tears away and blowing her nose loudly, before she caught herself. "Oh my," she cried out, "now I soiled your tissue, ser Carver. I'm sorry," she added sheepishly, looking at him through her eyelashes and he felt his face growing warm under her gaze. She couldn't be any older than him, but still, something about her made her older beyond her years. He offered her an easy smile. "Then you will have to keep it, and return it clean to me after the battle, lady...?" he trailed his voice down in clear question.

She giggled. It was interesting to see how from utterly miserable she could switch to calm to miserable to flirty. He kind of liked that. "My name is Allison," she asnwered, offering her hand to him. She had small and delicate hands, obviously unused to fighting with the short swords and shield strapped to her back, even if her posture betrayed intimate knowledge of those weapons. "I'm one of the Grey Warden recruits," she added, "I came just today, together with Grey Warden Commander."

"Wow," he whistled admiringly (and with a bit of jealousy). "You sure had to make quite an impression on him."

"Fighting your way through burning castle tends to have that effect," she replied, her voice once again blank, her eyes getting faraway look. For a moment she looked like she will start crying again, and before he knew what he was doing and could stop himself, he was right next to her, wrapping his arms around her awkwardly.

And most surprisingly, he felt her returning the awkward embrace, hiding her face in his shoulder as more sobs shook her body. Usually, when Bethany cried (he never saw Emily crying, always made him wonder whether she was some kind of automaton), he did his best to disappear as soon as he could. With Allison it was different. It felt _good_ to be the one providing comfort.

Carver didn't know how long they clung to each other in the falling dusk, but both of them jumped when the horn, calling the soldiers to report to their units sounded. "Uhm," he mumbled, "I suppose I should go now."

She looked up at him, her eyes bright, and captivating. "I should go as well," she said quietly. "There is some kind of Joining ceremony planned for me and the other recruits, before the battle starts." Uneasy silence descended upon them. "I... I see you after the battle?" she suggested hesitantly. "I still got your kerchief, and have to return it, right?"

"You better," he returned with a grin. "It's my favorite kerchief, and I would be very crossed, if it wasn't returned to me."

They walked around the improvised chapel, the priest there delivering one last blessing, when Allison pulled his arm to stop him. "I would like to thank you, Carver," she whispered, looking up to him. Standing on her tiptoes she kissed his cheek. With one last _thank you_ she disappeared into the shadows, leaving him standing there with his heart hammering in his chest.

**+o+o+o+**

The whole battle, as well as its fallout, had been a disaster. They were told that Grey Wardens will signal from Tower of Ishal, and Loghain's units will come to help. But they saw the signal, and the help never came. Not to mention that soon after the rumours about Grey Wardens being the ones who caused this all started to run rampant.

As Hawkes run from Lothering, he couldn't help but wonder what happened to Allison, with her bright eyes and shy smile.

"Not all of the Grey Wardenss died," said the Witch of the Wilds when it was discovered that the templar Wesley got the Blight disease and it was said that the Grey Wardens might know the cure but all of them are dead now. "But the last two of them are beyond your reach."

Part of him hoped that one of them was _her_.

He didn't have many opportunities to linger on thoughts of her the year afterwards - he and his sister had been building a reputation in their new hometown. Well, his sister had been building a reputation, and he once again had been in her shadow. She insisted on dragging him everywhere with her, and while he was glad to be outside the hovel where their family now lived, it didn't do anything for the annoyance he felt when he heard his sister saying "I will do that, but only if my brother is there with me".

They cleared the air between them quite well after she brought him bunch of letters his father wrote to a templar. Ser Maurevar Carver. Carver. He always thought that the name had been of some famous mage or something - the fact that it was name of a templar whom father held in really high regard, and his sister run around the city to find more about, melted some of the resentment in his chest.

At least until they were on the Deep Roads expedition and he got tainted.

**+o+o+o+**

She dragged him through the Deep Roads for hours, his nearly-dead weight obviously damn heavy on her shoulders, but she stubbornly continued to drag him onward, gently lowering him to the ground every time they got ambushed by the Darkspawn before she started raining doom on the bastards, only to lift him up again and continue.

Carver nearly wished she would just let him die before the taint could make him into a ghoul.

They found the Grey Wardens, alright. The Grey Wardens even agreed to take him with them, and pt him through the Joining. He was so sick by that time that he didn't remember much, only the lingering embrace of his sister and her tears, as the Grey Wardens were taking him from her.

The Joining was a nightmare, the first out of many. Others told him that he was lucky to join _after_ a Blight - those who joined _during_ got it much worse, this nightmare thing. He hated being a Warden - especially since it was forced on him. He wrote a letter to his sister, short and bitter, and kept out of contact since then, even if his sister wrote him regularly about what is happening in Kirkwall.

Only one letter had been written by Gamlen, and it was news of his mother being murdered.

The Wardens had a business nearby Kirkwall not long after that, and by chance it was at the same time as Arishok decided he has enough of human chaos. He run into Emily that day, she was fighting her way through Lowtown together with Aveline, Varric and Fenris, casting spells with practiced ease.

Their meeting didn't go well, especially with the Marchers Grey Warden Commander watching.

Emily didn't write him anymore after that. Not that he was surprised, he went in her face pretty badly that day. It sure came as a surprise to learn that his family didn't learn about his Joining being successful (depending on how you viewed a Joining failure) for months, and even then it was just a passing note. Soon after that he was transferred to his homeland.

Back to Ferelden, into the arling given to the Grey Wardens.

He wasn't sure what to expect from Fereldan Grey Wardens. According to what Anders said, it was a somber bunch - from the description Carver thought they must be even less friendly than the Wardens in Free Marches. And well, paint him green and call him surprised - he was damn unprepared to what truly welcomed him in the Vigil's Keep.

First, he was nearly overrun by a pack of mabari hounds pulling a small cart, with a dwarf as the driver. He was yelling something about bloody four-legged mongrels, as the dogs managed to get the cart to crash into the nearest wall and run away.

Second, he was greeted by a whiny armor smith he remembered hearing about. Wasn't the man supposed to be in Denerim? He was complaining about being not only the best, but also bloody coldest smith in the whole of Ferelden, having some other man rolling his eyes at him.

And third, he didn't expect _her_ to be his new Commander.

**+o+o+o+**

He heard about The Warden. The whole of Thedas heard about The Warden. But none of the tales actually said that The Warden was Allison, the recruit-turned-_The_-Warden he met all those years ago right before Battle of Ostagar.

"Please, sit down," she said, not looking up from the letter she was writing when he entered her study. "I'll just finish this letter to family of one of our recruits who didn't make it through the Joining and you will have my full attention."

She wrote for several more minutes, nearly using the whole page of parchment, filling it with precise letters, adding her signature with a flourish and setting it aside. Years had been kind to her, he thought, even if she looked slightly older than he remembered her. Her posture was prouder, he could see even as she was sitting, her hands sure and bearing confident. She didn't look much like the recruit he remembered, and not only because her face was now adorned by a Dalish tattoo.

Finally, she laid the quill aside and looked up.

Allison, or rather, Commander of the Grey, still had those bright eyes which even the years spent in the order could not dim. And those eyes widened in surprise when she truly looked at him, and recognition brightened them up even more.

"Carver?" she asked, her voice disbelieving. "You live?"

Before he could react, she nearly run around her desk, leaning down to hug him. It was a bit awkward like that but for the very first time he felt welcomed in very long time. He knew his sister would welcome him in the family estate back in Kirkwall but it was not the same.

The embrace would not be the same.

They talked for hours afterwards, she ordered a servant to bring them dinner some time later and they talked some more, drinking wine and exchanging stories. She told him about the Blight, about her companions, and he told her how they got to Kirkwall. Then he mentioned the Witch of the Wilds, and her amulet, and Allison gave him amused chuckle.

"I knew the old woman had some trick in her sleeve," she said without further explanation. Instead, she mentioned brother who disowned her when he caught wind of Nathaniel Howe, son of the man who attacked their castle, and asked, if he had a family. He told her about his sisters, and parents, and uncle, even about their mabari and she listened with keen interest long in the night.

The Wardens here in Ferelden were nearly nothing like Wardens in Free Marches. Sure, they were quite somber folk, just like Anders said, but they were also one big family, from the most junior members to the old blood mage Avernus (who was like the strange uncle they never spoke about, of course). There were two dwarves, Oghren and Sigrun, one Dalish mage (he was reminded a bit of Merrill, since Velanna also had been their Keeper's First and left against the Keeper's wishes, but unlike Merrill, Velanna sure wasn't a sweet girl), some elves from around the Ferelden (usually recommended by the Alianages' hahrens, and taken to Vigil once one of the Senior Wardens saw them and thought them recruiting material), few mages from the Circle (the mages here didn't have that aura of fear and desperation about them) and bunch of human fighters and archers. Next day, they gave him one look, then looked at the Commander by his side, and one after another welcomed him back to Ferelden.

And got drunk, Oghren drinking them all under the table, leaving Allison to laugh over them the next morning, as they crawled from under the tables with mother of all hangovers while Oghren grumbled something about lightweights.

His days back in Ferelden had been spent by training with others at Vigil (_'you need to be able to fight separately, and in bigger unit - you need to learn to depend on others, and others need to learn to depend on you,'_ Allison told him) or supervising things at Soldier's Peak. Both places had been under rebuilt; one after centuries of being abandoned and the other after being besieged. He felt useful, and content.

Also, being near Allison was giving him butterflies, no matter how unmanly it was in his eyes.

**+o+o+o+**

He had been at Vigil for for two years, before he kissed her for the first time, nervous that she will slap him for daring to make a move on her. But she kissed him back, her eyes twinkling in the sunset as she looked up to him, small smile on her lips.

"I like men who know what they want and go for it," she told him.

Well, he could be decisive, and he showed her that on that night. Repeatedly.

**+o+o+o+**

He had been in relationship with Allison for over a year when Carta assassins broke into their room and attempted to murder him.

"Blood!" they screamed, heir eyes glowing in the dark with unnatural light, "Blood of Hawke! _Blood!_"

He didn't care that they tried to kill him. But when they endangered Allison as well - that was too much, especially after Allison pointed out that his sister may be in danger as well, since she is Hawke, too. As King Alistair had been planning on leaving for Kirkwall in few days, she asked him to allow them travel with him, King readily agreeing to her plea, asking her to help him with several matters in return during the trip.

It was strange to return to Kirkwall, the feeling of despair, uncertainty and fear soaking the walls, the foundation of the city itself. And when he reached Amell estate, his sister was a mess, sitting in her room, surrounded by her servants and some of her companions, pressing a bloody rag to her arm as she quietly spoke to them.

"I came late, didn't I?" he asked, making them all jump, Emily rushing to him, throwing herself at him. He hugged her back, holding her tightly as he should so many times before, when instead of just giving her a hug he would growl at her.

They talked for a long time that day, interrupted only by the elven servant telling them the dinner is prepared. He told her what little could be shared about his life as Grey Warden, and she would tell him the events taking place in Kirkwall. but the last she told him truly made him angry.

"The last few years - Meredith had been just waiting for the opportunity to drag me in the Gallows."

"Never!" he cried out, uncaring that he startled the servants. "You're a great mage, Emily - I'm sure Allison would take you under her wing back at Ferelden."

The way he named his Commander piqued his sister's curiosity. And it felt so good to tell her about the woman he loved, and who loved him back. Emily smiled sadly when he told her about how he fell in love with his Commander, and only mentioned things not working all that well with Fenris, her voice wistful and her eyes sorrowful.

Before he leaves again, he promised to himself, he sure will have words with the elf. There are things you just not do with women. Period.

******+o+o+o+**

Things didn't go as planned, just as usual. They followed some leads Varric had been able to get them, and found the greatest mystery of all ages in the place Carta took their residence.

They even heard their fathers voice, learning more of the legacy their father left behind. It was like a stab in the chest to hear him say "I hope the child takes after you, my beloved. I wouldn't wish my magic on anyone." There were times when Carver despised the time father spent away with Emily and Bethany, teaching them magic. But the time _he_ spent with father, defeating him in fight for the first time...

Those were times he remembered dearly, all those years.

He told Emily that, after they returned to Kirkwall, and hugged her tightly before he left with Allison, for some Grey Warden business again.

It was good to see all of their old friends, and to speak to his sister again. Especially since they finally managed to see eye to eye. Just when he re-joined Allison he realized he didn't have the words with Fenris as he planned.

******+o+o+o+**

"Carver?"Allison's voice called him from his training at the courtyard at Ansburg. He went to her, sweeping sweat from his face. She was serious, as she held some letter in her hand. She received a lot of letters even when she was outside of Ferelden for months now (being the one who defeated the Blight obviously made you perfect target for useless correspondence, no matter where you found yourself) - this one was without a seal, meaning it was some unofficial business.

"Our contact in Kirkwall reports that the tension between mages and templars is tearing the city apart, and only your sister is running all around to keep it in one piece - but even with her, it's only matter of fairly short time before the tension escalates."

Ice gripped his heart at that. Before he could ask what he should do, she told him. "I think you should go to Kirkwall. Your sister is going to need you."

He left Ansburg that day, kissing Allison as if it was supposed to be their last kiss. He didn't want to turn around, as he walked from the keep, but then the desire to see her one more time won, and he looked over his shoulder. She was there, just as he hoped, standing on the battlements, her hair flying around her in the wind. He waved at he, which she returned immediately, and with that he continued his way to Kirkwall. When he arrived, it was with a bang.

Literally.

The whole building of Chantry exploded, covering the whole city with pieces of walls, ashes and dust. People were panicking, screaming in fear, some of them running to hide, some of them just staring at the place where the Chantry used to be. He run into his sister on her way through Lowtown, towards the Dock. She disagreed with the need to annul the Circle, but couldn't join the mages outright, instead opting to side with Templars and take every mage who would surrender into custody.

She seemed surprised to see him, but as she rushed to hug him, he knew that it was right decision to come here.

Battling though bloodmages and abominations was pretty bad. From that perspective he could see what Meredith had been coming from - but at the same time, unlike what Anders, that idiot who caused this, tended to claim, blood magic wasn't the only way how mages could protect themselves against oppression, as several smaller groups of mages showed. Most of those surrendered to the templars, the Knight-Captain stepping in when Meredith wanted to kill them on spot. He seriously liked that man, especially since Emily (and even Allison) spoke of him highly. Emily probably higher than he would have thought. He will have to ask her about the man later - there sure was something more to it.

In the end, Orsino was left dead on top of Gallows, not really given the opportunity to surrender to the templars and they were forced to kill him.

Meredith herself thought it great idea to make the Champion and her friends do all the hard work - but leaving them free? She would have none of that, and prepared to strike the Champion down - but she was stopped by her Knight-Captain, who stood in front of Emily protectively, swaying the other templars if not into direct fight, then at least into inactivity.

It was strange to see a templar stand by his side to protect his sister from another templar. How did Ser Carver write in his letter? Not caging the best of us?

The fight was a long one; somehow Meredith kept on animating the bloody statues erected all around Gallows; the figures of crying slaves or gate guardians leaping from the walls, or from above the gate. She would howl to the skies, requesting help of the Maker for His faithful servant. He never answered, and at the end of the battle the cursed lyrium of her sword burned her alive, leaving only unrecognizable burning statue in the Gallows courtyard.

Emily was hailed a hero afterwards, nearly forced to take the position of Viscount. He was present at her coronation, enjoying it tremendously as she tried to hid her flinching every time someone called her Lady Viscount... or every time the acting Knight Commander Cullen was near and spoke to her. He recognized this special kind of flinch - he teased her about it mercilessly when they were alone, earning himself a punch in the shoulder and priceless sight of his older sister blushing furiously.

This man he will not have to warn about treating his sister properly, since he already was doing that.

But time for him to leave drew closer as the city was being rebuilt; his duties as grey Warden, as well as his heart longing for Allison, were pulling him away from Kirkwall. As the day of his departure came, he hugged his sister tight and whispered to her: "And you better start to write me letters again - there is so much I want to write you back now."

Her eyes lightened up at those words, as if he told her the Maker Himself came back.

When he arrived to Vigil and reunited with Allison, the woman looked up to him and asked: "So, everything alright with your sister?" And he just smiled and said: "Yes. Everything alright."

Because at last, it finally was.

* * *

**A/N:** And, uhm, this is where I run away while pretending to do strategic retreat over the lame ending.


End file.
